Carry Over Effect

 

I see my kids are fond of toys holding their fancy ones all the time. Sometimes Barbie dolls or tags of ID cards or anything different not in a regular color and shape.

When I ask my elder daughter (6 years) to get a book and read; she comes to me and asks which book? After I notice a toy in her hand – I realize she is not keen on picking up the book. Being the elder one, we ask her to clear the toys from the floor – so that others can walk around without crushing them under their foot. She tries to do that by holding her favorite toy; so the work which has to be done with two hands would be done inefficiently with one hand, as the other is engaged with the toy.

Today morning I said, “Let's go out to play in the park” – my younger ones come out with Barbie dolls and say this baby wants to come with me. The barbie doll has to slide along with her – and when she needs two hands to climb I will become caretaker of the Barbie doll. Now and then she followup and ask – where is the baby. I have to respond to her saying she is taking a rest in my pocket. Often she comes to me and takes the barbie doll again and brushes her hair. She enacts cooking and feeding the doll. Most of her physical activity (apart from watching rhymes on phone) – the barbie is her company.

It’s been a while, I was not reflecting on the incidents around me. I am not consciously observing how my kids grow – how their interests and personalities shape up. I am curious to know the environment which helps them to grow and develop a character or individuality.

Few observations, which I can reflect: It’s just not the kids even we elders try to carry things around. Maybe not physically, for instance, we often spill our bad mood or anxiety about tomorrow’s presentation with our family during the dinner. Very often we overthink about the bad conversation/incidents with friends/family members and carry those memories and ruin the relationships.

The message from the reflection: Allot specific space and time for each of the activities to reduce the spillover or carry-over effect. You can't have deep sleep when you eat food in bed; similarly you cant have fresh thoughts if you are not familiar with the space around you for creative tasks. Read Atomic Habits by James Clear for more examples and references on developing habits to increase productivity in life. 

Many things to learn from kids – they are our Gurus.